It’s raining again, and you should probably be building an ark or something, but here’s some good, non-sexual stuff you can do without leaving the bed:
-Watch The Killing. It’s the best show ever, and it’s set in Seattle which means that it’s always raining. This is good, because the weather on the show matches the weather in real life, and makes for a much more seamless fantasy. Once an episode has finished, it’s easy to keep pretending you’re living in The Killing’s world. I’ve been doing this a lot, which probably explains why I’ve thought of nothing else since I finished the first season a week ago. The show is about two detectives- a diligent policewoman obsessed with her casework and a mouthy recovering ice-addict who “dresses like Justin Bieber”- trying to solve the murder of a high school girl. Do you know how cool it would be to be a detective?! You just sit in a car all day with your offsider and drink coffee and stalk people. It’s siiiick.
-Read Half Asleep in Frog Pajamas by Tom Robbins. It’s also set in Seattle and basically every page features a really cool description of rainy weather. Eg: “Hour after hour, the rain will fall; apartments, decorated to be showplaces, will take on the character of burrows or nests; and espresso carts, the little pumping stations of Seattle’s lifeblood, will glow beneath their umbrellas like the huts of shamans. Drops spiral from every cornice, every antenna, every awning. Drops glisten on each plate-glass window, each tailgate, each inch of neon that sizzles in the mist. Dense, penetrating and modifying, the rain narrows the gap between nature and civilization. Forgotten longings stir in the crack.”
-Pretend you got dumped. Getting dumped is a great excuse to do things that are unacceptable under normal circumstances, like crying or reading The Hunger Games. But pretending you got dumped means you can do all this embarrassing stuff and not even have your heart broken a bit. It’s pretty cool.
